Category Archives: Uncategorized

(Written December 8, 2019)

I became my strongest self the day I became a single mom – the day I found out that I would be raising my Kings and Queens on my own.

As I reflect back I can see that the hand of God was literally guiding me and pushing me. He literally made me strong, I couldn’t do any of this without Him.

From waking up in the middle of the night to pray for myself and my children, to praying throughout the day for God to continue to keep His hands on us, praying has also gotten me through so much.

In this season God has shown me so much. One thing I declare is that my children will be great men and women of God. My children will see my struggle and strive to do better, strive to make better decisions, and strive to become all their hearts desire.

I said all of this to encourage you to keep pushing, keep praying, keep striving. God’s got you, just like He’s got me. We all go through and with God we will all make it through.

You may ask why does she always mention God? My response:

Girl, God is all I know!

(Written November 21, 2019)

Those were the words of my oldest who was involved in an incident yesterday at school and because of his actions, he experienced racism.

After my son and I both calmed down (because we both went OFF) and while he was cooking dinner, he explained to me what happened and that he wanted to talk to his friend’s father concerning the matter. At first I was in my feelings but then I realized that our children need male figures in their lives. Figures who they can talk to, figures who can better understand them as males, figures who they can also look up to as role models.

As a mother I know there are things that only a father or father figure can do and that is why I am glad my children have father figures in their lives whom I can call and always depend on. This has taught me that I can’t do everything for my children. I would love to but wisdom says there are just some things that as a mother I need to step back and let a male handle.

As stated before, every child needs a father or father figure in their lives. That doesn’t mean some random guy you think you know but a male who you know has your child’s best interest at hand and can help impart wisdom and understanding. We try to protect and do so much for our children so let’s help them by allowing someone to help us. After all, it does take a village to raise a child.

Who is in your village? Pray and reach out to them so they can help you raise your children. We all need help and there’s nothing wrong with receiving help.

(Written October 14, 2019)

Y’all, my oldest son did something the other day and all I could do was laugh. I couldn’t even get mad at him, I just simply laughed. He later knocked on my bedroom door and asked me if I was mad and I started laughing again and told him that I wasn’t mad at him but more so disappointed…then we had a conversation. Boyyyyy I so was not ready nor was I prepared.

Communication is key with our children. Even if it’s small, communicate with them. Even the smallest conversation can open the door for your child to share what’s really on their hearts and minds.

There was a time when I would stray away from having the “hard” conversations with my children. I knew these conversations were necessary so that as a Mother, I could seek God for guidance and direction on how to continue to raise them properly but in a way I was scared.

You may wonder how do I know what’s going through my child’s mind. It’s easy! Start with asking them how their day is going, where they see themselves at when they get older, and how do they feel about certain subject matters, when children see that you are interested in having such conversations with them, they are then more capable of opening up more to you. Some children are a hard shell to crack I was that way but there’s always a way around it by simply asking questions. You don’t even have to start with questions, sometimes watching their favorite television show with them or playing a board game are awesome conversation starters.

This will not only help your child but as a single mother, it will help you as well. There’s healing in conversations, there’s understanding in conversations, chains can be broken, hearts can be mended, and amazing futures can be birthed out of conversations.

(Written October 3, 2019)

As single mothers we have so much on our plates. In order to ensure that our children’s needs are met and that our household is well taken care of, majority of the time we put our wants and needs on the back burner.

We have so many visions, dreams, and desires that we want to see come to pass but it always seems to be pushed to the side. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, in fact that’s what most parents do but now is the time for you to include yourself sis. Go get that notebook, or journal where you wrote down your dreams, visions, and desires and make it your business to start accomplishing these goals in some way or another, one by one. Even if you have to start small, START!

I can remember making the decision to go back to school. I contemplated my husband’s (I was married at the time) needs, my children’s needs, and my household needs. Not to mention I was working as well. I thought about the pros and cons, talked it over with my then spouse, and prayed to God. Me making the first step set me up for an amazing future. I had some stumbling blocks along the way which included moving to another state, a divorce, and a few failed classes, but through it all I persevered, I graduated with two degrees, and as much as I wanted to give up, I didn’t. GOD LITERALLY HAD ME!

Now is the time for you to go after it all sis. You’ve taken care of everyone else’s wants and needs, now is the time for you to take care of YOU, your wants, your needs, your desires, your visions, your goals. Go back to school, start that business, write that book, apply for that job, whatever it is JUST DO IT.

Pray to God for direction, pray for Him to lead you, pray for Him to guide you, He will show you the way. You may hit some stumbling blocks along the way but don’t let that stop you, push through it sis. The children will be fine, they will be well taken care of. Your household will be fine. And most importantly, you will be fine.

(Written September 17, 2019)

Have you ever knew that God was blessing you? Doors were opening up for you. Things were falling in place. But then you start to second guess the blessing or opened door because of everything that “came with it.”

What do you do? Do you pray? Do you back off? Do you think this is the wrong time?

I urge you to pray. Every blessing is a process. It comes with something attached to it. That doesn’t mean its a bad thing. For instance, you’re blessed with a house, but you still have to pay rent, mortgage, utilities, and such. You’re blessed with a car but you may still have a car note, maintenance, and you still have to put gas in it. You’re even blessed with those beautiful children. But guess what, you still have to nurture, clothe, and feed them.

Yes God has blessed us, but at the end of the day, we still have to be grateful by doing what is required of us to take care, maintain, and manage that blessing.

(Written September 11, 2019

I had a hard time taking time out for myself, that is until the day came when I was so exhausted and overwhelmed that I shut down. I didn’t answer the phone when it rang (not even when my momma called – and boy did she chew me out). I didn’t respond to any texts and if I did it was a one word response. Needless to say, I was DONE!

After I finally talked to my mom, she came to Pennsylvania, picked my children up for the weekend and guess what I did while they were gone…ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. My house was soooooo quiet, I didn’t sleep like I thought I would have BUT I was grateful that I had time to relax, pray, cry, and pray some more.

I know that we have a lot to do for our little ones and that in most cases, everything falls on us but even it it’s for just an hour, take some time out for yourself.

First things first! Realize that it is absolutely okay to be exhausted and overwhelmed. Most of you work full time, may be enrolled in school and/or your children may be involved in extra curricular activities around the community. I was doing all three!

Put them children to bed early so that you can catch up on your shows. Ask somebody to watch your children so you can go get them nails and feet done (you probably need it lol). Let them children go outside and play for a little while so you can get some good quiet time in and maybe even prayer time in with God. Put that leave slip in and spend the day shopping while your children are at school and THIS TIME SPEND SOME MONEY ON YOURSELF, without feeling guilty.

Self-care is important. As hard as it may be, it’s important to take time out for yourself. Whether you lock yourself in your bedroom, sit by the water (that is sooooo relaxing and calming by the way), go for a walk, read a book, get a mani and/or pedi, or whatever it is that you’re able to do, just make sure that you take the time out to actually do it.

After all, how can you be a help to your children if you don’t first take care of yourself?

(Written September 6, 2019)

*This was extremely hard to post*

Summer 2016 was the darkest times for me while being a single mother. My children were in day care on one side of town and at the time, I was working on the other side – when I tell you I was STRUGGLING, chileeee it was a HOT MESS!

The money for day care was due and my rent was past due. Which one was I going to pay? Well, I decided to pay the day care and prayed to God that my landlord would understand why my rent was late and that she would get her money the next time I got paid. So after the many phone calls and emails, my landlord decided that she was going to start the eviction process. What was I going to do now because I was NOT moving back to Cambridge.

Now I must admit that I have an extremely hard time asking people for stuff because I like to figure things out on my own (with the help of God of course). But this time I didn’t know what to do so I asked for help. Of course they said no but let me tell you about God…HE CAME THROUGH honey!

I wrote all of this to encourage you to keep pushing. God will come through for you sis, just like he did for me. Giving up is the easy way out. Job could have given up – he lost everything he had but through it all he stayed committed and trusted God (I encourage you to read the book of Job).

It’s not going to always be easy, you’re going to have it rough sometimes but as God is my witness, it will get better. Trials help to build your character and it also helps you to be a light & testimony to someone else who may be going through a similar situation.

Hang in there sis, be strong in the Lord, you’ll get through this! I love you!

(Written September 5, 2019)

As a single mother, authentic friendships can be hard to come by. Because of our little ones. we have to be careful of who we let in our personal space.

People aren’t always genuine – because of this we must be equipped with discernment. Discernment is defined as the ability to judge well in order to determine a situation’s true nature.

Because spirits are transferable and have the ability of attaching themselves to our children, we should always come to God in prayer. Discern people’s true motives and if God tells you to leave them alone, then by all means do so….THERE IS A REASON FOR THIS.

Be careful of who you let in your personal space. Know who’s in your space. Pray to God concerning new friendships. And when that authentic friendship comes, cherish it.