Author Archives: Singlemommyingit

Some may think that being a single mother breeds sympathy. Some may believe that because single mothers are doing IT ALL on their own, they may need or want a hand out. Some may think single mothers are weak. 

Well, I beg to differ. Single mothers are strong. They are passionate. They are valuable. Single mothers are superhero’s. They are gifted with the ability of knowing how to get it done – despite being tired. Despite all of the obstacles that comes against them. Despite being pulled from left to right. Despite wearing multiple hats.

I am that single mother. I am strong. Courageous. Independent. Will powered. Intellectual. Needed. Strengthened. Encouraged to stand through every test, fighting every battle. I am a winner. And guess what single mother, so are you.

Let me reintroduce myself. I am LaTia Reynolds. A divorced single mother of four. I am an entrepreneur. I am an author. I am a business woman. I am a future CEO. And I am here to help you become a better you. 

Together we will make it through. Together will keep striving towards perfection. Together we will reach our goals. Together we will overcome it all. Together we will make it happen. Together we will make it count. 

The most important thing a son needs is his father, a positive male figure. Someone he can learn from, someone he can look up to, someone who can teach him things about what being a man takes. What to do in certain situations as a man. How to be a true man of God. How to conduct himself. How to be a leader!

But that’s not the case here. Why? Because I am a mother. I can only be a mother. As a mother, I can show my son how a female wants to be treated, I can teach him how to provide for his family. But I don’t have a clue about what being a man takes. What goes through their minds as males. 

Hey, I can only give my son the female perspective of what I “feel,” and what I “interpret.” 

This isn’t a blog to bash fathers for not stepping up but……it’s a blog telling a snippet about the importance of being in your son’s life. So that he can receive all that he possibly can from you – as his father, as his role model, as someone he can look up to in this crazy world. Sons don’t require much. They only want time and attention. They want you to answer their questions – because they have a million. They just need you to be there, plain & simple. 

Within the past 3 months, so much has happened. We went from having and still dealing with the COVID-19 Pandemic to now experiencing another pandemic called Racism and Injustice. And in all actuality, the reality is that we’ve never stopped dealing with this particular pandemic. It’s been here for quite awhile. And until it’s properly dealt with, it’s here to stay. A sad reality!

The deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Sandra Bland, Eric Gardner, Tamir Rice and so so many others has helped to influence the issue that even after 401 years, we continue to face. 

If you haven’t already figured out by now, I love giving definitions. People need to have a better understanding because without understanding or actual facts/proof, we will take stuff and run with it. Tell me I’m lying!

Racism is defined as prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior. 

Now that we have an understanding, can we all agree that this is a major issue? And not just in America, but globally. 

No one is born a racist. Racism is a behavior that is learned. If you put a group of  diverse children in a room, I guarantee you, they will all play together and the color of their skin will not be a factor. Do you know how many children at my job run to me, yell Ms. Tia and give me a hug? These children don’t see color…until they are taught to believe it’s a factor. 

 A belief is an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. It’s something believed. If we believe that something is true or that it exists then obviously it’s something that’s taught. It’s something we constantly see so it has to be true, right?  It’s imbedded in us. I truly believe we are all natural lovers until we are taught different. One isn’t necessarily born despising or hating another race, THEY ARE TAUGHT. 

Think about the time when you are cool with someone. All of a sudden you hear something negative from another person you are close with who nine times out of ten is jealous and then your whole perspective of that person changes. Why? Because it came from someone we trust, so it has to be true. That’s the same with racism, we hear negative things about a group of people. Consistently! We hear it from those we trust, so it has to be true. 

This stuff is heavy y’all. And we aren’t going to be okay until we come to the conclusion, and the understanding, that racism is in fact a major problem. It’s a cancer. 

I wrote all of that to say that we have to do better. We have to teach our children better. The next generation has to be better than us. Things are getting so much worse. We have to do better for our babies. 

We have to teach them different. We have to teach them that everyone should be treated equal. We have to teach them love. Love doesn’t hate. Love doesn’t discriminate. Love is pure. It’s acceptance no matter who you are.

We have to do better! 

I sat and watched the video of George Floyd being murdered by Derek Chauvin. 

How do I prepare my sons for the world? How do I tell them how they should act when they come in contact with police? How do I tell them to be themselves? How do I tell them to remain calm when put in certain situations?

I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no right way to answer these questions. I can warn my sons. I can show them videos. I can tell them stories of past happenings. But there truly is no preparation. 

The world is so unpredictable. And before you go quoting scriptures, I know them so save yourself. Yes “God has not given us the spirit of fear” (2 TImothy 1:7), but this is a reality that we have to face. 

Racism is real. Injustice is evident. I’ve been called a nigger, a coon. And until you’ve experienced such hate…..YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND MY STANDPOINT.

I always warn Micah to watch what he says, watch his attitude, watch how he conducts himself. I shouldn’t have to do that, he’s a child. But…it’s a harsh reality. And to top it off….this is a daily reality.

Our black men are being killed. But why? There are so many reasons but the main reason is simply because of the color of their skin. 

So God I pray that you protect my sons, our sons, our black sons. Protect them always God. Protect them at all cost!

When I tell you that I have my work cut out for me, let me tell youuuuuu! It’s not easy raising boys. I wouldn’t say that it’s hard either – it just has its challenges. And with me only being a mother, I don’t have the slightest clue or idea what goes through their minds as boys. Thank God for their Grandfather and Uncles! 

I have two boys, both the same, yet different. They’re both athletic, nurturing in their own right, always willing to help,  and independent. Seth is a clown, he will have you cracking up with his random outbursts, singing, and God only knows the things that come out of his mouth (pray for me lol). Micah is quiet for the most part until he comes out of his shell. He stays to himself. He really doesn’t care for crowds – like myself, he will eventually find a quiet spot. If he has his PS4 around, forget about hearing from him. He’s also extremely passionate and very observant, needless to say he’s paying attention.

Now as for their attitudes…….baby. Sometimes I have it out with my oldest Micah because our attitudes are somewhat similar. We will shut down and walk away with the quickness so that we can cool off. So there’s a special way of getting us to talk it out. The baby Seth, he’ll just put that God awful thumb in his mouth and stomp off fussing you out under his breath. I can only imagine what he’s saying because when I ask him what he just said, he always says “nothing.”

But in all seriousness, raising boys is a journey. They get to a point where they want to be to themselves – in their rooms, door shut, sometimes locked. I used to get in my feelings about it thinking I was doing something wrong, until I realized hey they’re just growing up and want some space. 

I few years back I bought a book for Micah that describe the changes he will be going through as he gets older. I remember telling him, here’s your book about boys if you have any questions call your Grandfather or one of your Uncles. He looked at me like really mom, and we both fell out laughing. I was dead serious though but I was willing to answer any questions that I was able to answer and direct him to the right person if he had questions that I was unable to answer.

But wait! Why didn’t y’all tell me that boys ate so much though? Omg! Yes, I have two brothers but I never paid attention to how much they ate, I actually didn’t care. With the boys being out of school, they stay up all night, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, string cheese, halos, and popcorn. I’m so sick of buying bread! Sometimes I hear them walking in the hallway and I yell to them “make sure you clean your mess up.” I can hear my mom now telling me “they’re growing boys, let them eat.” 

They have this thing where they will randomly hug me, tell me they love me, or ask if they can help me cook. It melts my heart. I’m determined to teach them how to cook just in case their wife doesn’t know how. 

All in all I love my boys to death, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They help me to become better in so many ways. With so much going on in the world, I constantly pray for God to cover and protect them in every way. I try my best to protect them from the happenings of the world, I tell them the importance of their words and actions, I tell them to always follow God’s leading and to always make the right decisions, even if it isn’t the popular thing to do. 

Let’s continue raising our boys to be the men that God has called them to be. After all, they are our future and as mothers we must always do our part in ensuring that they become their best selves. 

(Written March 10, 2020)

Being a single mother can be challenging. I often hear people say, “Tia, I don’t know how you do it.” My response: “I don’t even know myself, it’s all God because if it were up to me I would fail.”

Being a single mother allows you to see the strength you never knew you had.

Being a single mother allows you to push through so many obstacles, so many hurdles, so many disappointments, so many sleepless nights, so many times where you wish the load was a little lighter.

Do you know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep, praying for God to help me see my way through. Praying for strength. Praying for help. Praying for relief.

It’s hard out here in these single mom, heck single parent streets y’all. And before you think it’s all about money….IT’S NOT! I could care less about the money, God always has that covered. Trust me!

What I care about is the look in my children’s eyes when we have movie night. The look in their eyes when they ask me if they can sleep in my room and I tell them yes. The look in their eyes when we’re playing Uno – I kicks their tail, let me tell you! Lol! The look in their eyes when we lay on the floor and color. The look in their eyes when they’re telling me about their day. The look in their eyes when we play video games together – try me in Madden lol. The look in their eyes when they walk through the door after school. The look in their eyes when we’re outside playing catch. The look in their eyes when I paint their nails. THE LOOK IN THEIR EYES PERIOD!

I am far from perfect, I still don’t have it all together.

Being a single has made me so appreciative. It’s not a bad thing that you’re a single mother. Embrace it!

Go back to school, get that education sis. Apply for that job. Start that business. Send in that business license. Start that blog. That website. Get that photo shoot done. Promote that brand. (That one was for me) You don’t have time for the “woe is me” shenanigans.

JUST DO IT! AND GIVE IT YOUR ALL THIS TIME. PUSH, GO FOR IT! I’M ROOTING FOR YOU! IT’S IN YOU SIS! YOU GOT THIS! I GOT YOU! BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, GOD’S GOT YOU!

(Written February 17, 2020)

No one ever told me that being a single mother was a job on its own. No one ever told me that when you’re home from work sick with the flu, your children would still need dinner and help with their homework. No one ever told me about the sleepless nights you would have trying to wrap your mind around how you are going to pay the never ending bills that continue to pile up. No one ever told me that the school would call and you would have to fight to leave work just to have a meeting with your child’s teacher or to pick your child up because they have a tummy ache, only to realize that they are alright and just wanted their mother. No one ever told me about practices that you would have to take your child to by 7, only to get off at 6 and have to rush home to cook dinner before heading back out.

No one ever told me that being a mother was the best thing ever. The endless prayers, the sleepless nights, can not compare to the joy I see in my children’s eyes daily. Nothing compares to them calling me while I’m at work just to tell me that they miss me and to hurry home, even if I’m 2 minutes away. Nothing compares to being a mom to Micah, Nina, Sydney, and Seth, my blessings from God.

(Written February 10, 2020)

One of the greatest gifts God can give you is the gift of being a parent. Being a parent gives you the opportunity to raise future leaders, to show your chilren how to make it in this crazy world, to show them hard work and determination.

According to the 2019 U.S. Census Bureau, out of 11 million single parent families with children under the age of 18, 80 percent of those families are headed by single mothers. It has also been reported that there are about 16.4 million children under the age of 18 who are being raise without a father being present.

Fathers are an important link in the development of our children. And while we can’t be fathers to our children, we can be the best mothers to them instead.

The statistics are sad, it’s a reality. But what do we do about it? How can we change this?

Well for one, we don’t bash our children’s father. Their decisions are just that, their decisions. We instead take all that God has given and put in us and we continue to raise our children to be their best selves.

It’s not easy trust me I know. But I thank God for my village, the ones I can call on when my children need a male perspective on life situations – I’m grateful that God fills those voids.

Don’t allow them empty voids to continue. Pray to God, He will help you. If He did it for me, I know He will do it for you.

(Written January 3, 2020)

As single mothers things can become rough. You have your moments (as I am having one now) where you wish the load was a little lighter.

Can I be a little transparent right quick? I came home from work yesterday, did a little cleaning before my children came home from school and eventually started dinner when they got in the house and started their homework. Both of my sons came in the kitchen while I was cooking and was like Mom are you alright, you don’t look like yourself? I said yes, I’m just extremely tired and need a quick nap, then I’ll be alright. My oldest then proceeded to say that he felt sorry for me because I wake up early for work and always take care of them by myself. The only response I could give him was “that’s what parents do.”

Sometimes we may not think our children are paying attention – little do we know, they are. As I am writing this, I am reminded of Psalms 61:2 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” I just want to encourage you and let you know that God is right there with you. Although you are tired, and overwhelmed God is right there with His arms wrapped around you. He will comfort you, He will give you the strength that you need. All you have to do is ask.

I pray that if nothing else that your day will be amazing. I pray that you will be strengthen like never before. I pray God’s comfort over you, I pray God’s peace over you.

(Written December 12, 2019)

Being a single mother or single parent can at times become overwhelming. When this feeling comes over me, I always turn to prayer, the Word of God, and I reach out to family or a close friend. When I pray I ask God to be with me, to help me through, and to lead me because after all, He knows best.

One of my go to scriptures is Psalm 61:2 “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is high than I.” This scripture helps me in so many ways – it’s actually one of my favorite scriptures. This scripture encourages us to cry out to God when we become overwhelmed. The latter part of this scripture “when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I” tells us that when things tends to become overwhelming, cry out to the One who is higher than us, the One who is our solid guide, the One whom we can cast all of our worries and cares to, cry out to Him to help make the load that you are carrying easy.

As you continue on with your day, lean on God when things become overwhelming for you. Lean on Him when you feel you can’t turn to anyone else. Lean on Him and He will see you through. He is our rock, the solid one.